


In the dreaming place

by sciencemyfiction



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, kind of going whereever with this, more info in tags once more is written, still in the works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 21:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2788013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencemyfiction/pseuds/sciencemyfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-Spoilers for some of Inquisition's plot, depending on your choices and import etc-</p><p>When it came down to it, Hawke elected to stay behind in the Fade. Thought dead, he seems to be trying to contact those closest to him via their dreams. Team Heroes is determined to bring him home, but after all this time, they'll need some help to find him-- to say nothing of what state he might be in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the dreaming place

Varric Tethras doesn't dream. The funny thing about being a dwarf, that. You can't. You just sleep, your body is like, hey I'm gonna chill for a bit. You see and feel nothing. If you're lucky you sleep well and feel rested when you wake up. That's being a dwarf, for you.

What does happen, though, is worry. It fucks up your sleep schedule, makes it very hard to get enough rest. You can still get sleep-deprived to the point of hallucinations when you're a dwarf. It's...generally agreed that it's best not to let yourself get to that point among all social circles, though.

All that would be perfectly sensible, but Varric isn't himself. Hasn't been, himself, to be accurate. Not for a while. Not one bit.

He was there. Split second decision. He remembers Hawke and Stroud fighting even then. They were always bickering about something, honestly. But there it was: either one of them lured the literal incarnation of fear away so everybody else could make it, or they all stayed put in the Fade. Varric had been absolutely horrified by the thought of staying in the Fade one second longer than necessary. His skin still crawls, thinking of it.

Probably, everyone felt that way. Didn't stop Hawke and Stroud volunteering to be fucking martyrs.

Didn't stop Adaar, looking between them, nodding to Hawke.

They stay up together nights now, Varric and Adaar and sometimes Cole. They drink from Adaar's personal collection, and sit on parapets and tower roofs and silently draw comfort from each other, and sometimes Varric tells Adaar stories about Hawke that aren't in the book.

She doesn't apologize; he doesn't want her to apologize, it was Hawke's decision to volunteer and Hawke's decision to stay.

One night about a month later, as they are returning from a trip to Val Royeaux, Cole mumbles between the two of them, "It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't permanent. The one place I can't go, forever, not even when I sleep, not even a memory left, I'm so sorry, Varric, about your friend."

Adaar calls an early halt, and she holds Varric because he needs somebody to care, and Cole sings songs from the Hanged Man's old repertoire, plucked out of Varric's memory. And it helps. A little.

He's almost starting to kind of put it behind himself by the time they put Corypheus down for good. It's a really epic battle, and Varric takes notes, knowing he'll want to write a book later, even though his heart just isn't in it. There's a party, people laughing and talking, it's all kind of a blur. Three months now. Hawke's never coming back.

And then the morning after, a letter arrives.

Terse, and in a familiar (though still shaky hand), it says only:

_Bringing Isabela, probably two weeks coming. Need your Herald. Hawke alive. I know where._

Varric spends the rest of his morning writing up letters, a new chapter for Cassandra's favorite flop series, and assuring Cole that they shouldn't bother the Inquisitor yet because she's still pretty busy right now and the thing he's thinking about won't even be an issue for a little while.

"But if she can help, she would want to," Cole says, worriedly. "She feels wrong- guilty- because he had to stay."

Varric doesn't know how to explain the feeling of doubt that lingers in his chest. It's a superstitious kind of bullshit, where it feels like it might turn out he made the whole thing up or imagined it if he actually shows the note to her. He could compare it to old samples he has from when he was helping Fenris learn how to write fancier than Hawke ever taught him, but he knows just by looking that the handwriting is a legitimate match. This is true. Well, Fenris's theory might not be true, but this is definitely a note from Fenris and it's possible that Fenris really did see Hawke and they really can get him back from the Fade. Maybe. 

"I know, kid. I just-- I don't want to get her hopes up too much, in case it turns out to be nothing."

"Oh." Cole is learning tact, but still says, "Or your hopes. Or mine; I understand, I think. But he wouldn't lie, would he?"

"Not on purpose, he wouldn't." Varric is going to leave it at that, at least until Isabela and Fenris arrive, but-- maybe it would be easier to handle this if he's not the only one thinking about it. Maybe. He's not really sure, but he yields on the chance that Cole's got a good idea, there. "All right; get me an audience with her, and I'll tell her."


End file.
